Bitter
by Miss Momolo
Summary: "You don't like it," he guessed, whining. "No," she amended quickly. "I love it. I mean, who doesn't love rocks, right?" Summary: Toph's birthday, but something's missing. A/N: One-shot. Just thought about reentering Tokka since it feels like I left it behind :)


**Declaimer: I do not own ATLA or their characters. One- shot.**

Bitter. That was the word. That was what she tasted. And even though she couldn't see it, it stung her eyes. Despite that, her feet were blinding also. The sand never was the perfect place to walk on. A hand. That was what she was holding and if she tried to think of how she ended up in this uncomfortable situation she would just squish his hand. Above all doubt he would press back and insisted that "they were almost there". She trusted him. She trusted him to take her where he wanted and be safe because there was this silent agreement that he got her back just like she had his.

The wind was strong, like riding the flying bison under tempest skies. Her hair was coming undone and she wanted very badly to spit the salt accumulating in her mouth. It was very obvious that they were heading or there or reaching a beach, nearing a shore line. She heard the combination of the sea birds and the sea. It crashed occasionally, producing the bitter and the sand and the wind to assault her at once and without warning. By the third time she almost fell.

"Don't worry, Toph. I got you," he assured as he raised his hand, pulling her up.

"What are we doing on a beach?" she asked once it occurred to her and of course to avoid what had just happened.

"Not just any beach," he waited for a kind of suspense effect. "It's a rocky beach!"

"A…rocky beach," she repeated, unsure. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sokka, but I don't feel any rocks."

"Not on the ground, Toph. It's weird but they stand up like towers." he said letting go of her hands. She tripped again and stumbled in front of something solid. A rock. "Oops. Sorry."

"What the..?" she held her hands in front of her. "It is a tower. Sort of. How did you find this?"

"What can I say?" he replied cocky. "I have a knack for adventure!"

"Don't flatter yourself, much," she said, earthbending towards his direction, bringing a piece of rock under his feet and carrying him until he was beside her. He had led out a gasp and she could feel his heart racing. She bit her lip with an attempt to stage her laughter.

"Don't just go earthbending me out of nowhere, just like that. Warn me next time," he complained, still taking in air.

"Sorry, princess. Here's a warning: We're going up!" they were doing just that before she even finished her sentence and were on top before Sokka could let out a scream and by then it quickly died out. She was finding a comfortable spot as she felt Sokka move unsteadily around the large rock formation. She crossed her legs and tilted her head towards the sun. "So, how, did you really find this place?"

"Under the circumstances I feel like I should keep this to myself. But since I'm a good person I will." He sucked in another breath, which by now she found over exaggerating and mostly annoying. "For the last few days I've been looking for a place like this. Something that is good and bad at the same time. A challenge, since I know you love challenges, for this specific date. And since I know you're Toph and, well, I don't want to go into details, I'm going to go ahead and remind since it's clear you forgot... It's your birthday. And this is your birthday present." He added later, almost quite audible.

"Yeah," she knows and it'd be stupid of him to think she had forgotten. Maybe, he thinks she exceeded herself with work from the metalbending academy and doesn't have time for herself. She's sixteen now and every year she is reminded of her birthday. Why would he ever think she'd forget? She just doesn't feel like being continually recalled of something she doesn't like and if pretending does ease the tension then she would do just that.

It was just that itch she couldn't scratch because it was right at her chest, inside. Right at her throat when she thinks she has the courage, just for a second, to express what she feels. The burning in her eyes every time she sees her friends, on this day, and finds out very slowly throughout the day that there's something missing and then she remembers that she's blind… and that they were just two more absent figures…

"You don't like it," he guessed, whining.

"No," she amended quickly. "I love it. I mean, who doesn't love rocks, right?"

Then almost by instinct they fell into silence that was louder and more whirling than any word. It was clear and visible. It was truth. It was…

"Is it your parents?" he asked after she didn't speak. And she wanted very badly in that moment to moan and cry and grief and burn in pain. How had he gained the power to mindbend? "I can see it in your eyes."

At that moment she was doing a poor job at keeping the warm wet sensation away from her eyes and somehow she could see how ironic it was since it felt exactly the same as the sea reaching the shore just some ten feet below. Reaching but never there. Stepping but then scarily retrieving away. It also rang a pang on her ribs because it was just like her parents. But she wasn't sure if she was comparing that to them or to her.

Her chin started to tremble as she forced the words out. "Why haven't they come for these past four years? What is keeping them away? Is it because they're scare of me? Of the person I become? Or ashamed of what I've done? Or do they just…" she hesitated because somewhere buried in her most reasonable, logical space in her heart she knew this was the most probable motive. "… hate me." It was no longer a question.

By the silence being tune in his presence she deduced that he was processing this new given information, that she in the past four years haven't even shared but since he guessed correctly she figured she wasn't that good at hiding after all. Though she was sure this was what brought her to the edge and made her confess, this small detail. The detail of thought. He had thought of for days or maybe even weeks of were, considering her, something that her parent's never have, to bring her for her birthday. And it was just the thought because she was very sure she wasn't currently being one in her parent's head that made her want to snap.

"You know, Toph," his wavering voice, which hadn't changed a lot in the years, made her almost jump, "I used to think the same thing every time my dad missed my birthday or Katara's birthday or even Grangran's because I was so sure he would rather sail on a ship then be with me. But then he would return, sometimes with presents and sometimes with tears, and he would almost kneel down for us to forgive him for ever missing 'such an important date'. And somehow I would feel so ashamed of how I could ever think that of my father that I would beat myself for it."

"But they can come, to me. Your dad didn't have a choice. But mine do and they rather spend theirs at their house than with me. On my birthday." Bitter. She tasted it again. It harden every last vain in her body, till the point she felt she might explode.

"You also have a choice, Toph." Sokka said, firmly and very slowly as if any misled word could lead to an argument. Of course he was right but it angers her that he would ever consider exposing a protective shield around them.

"What? Go to them. Ask them for their understanding! That's just ridiculous. If I go back I will never earn my freedom again. They would still picture me as the small defenseless blind girl they always saw. Maybe even lock me away. They will never acknowledge my accomplishments; they would only see the crime in running away. For the least, they owe me. I don't owe them."

A hand. He grabbed her hand and she flinched but didn't pull away. Somehow she knew that what he was about to say was more important. More important than her problems or her parents. "My dad also used to say after he came back from the wars and the ships 'You must learn the F's in life.'"

She was almost too scared to ask. "And what do they mean?"

"Falling and flying. You must learn to fall and fly. 'In that same chronological order,' he used to warn me." He said almost nostalgic as he squished her hand for empathies. "'Wouldn't want it the other way around'. I think… you did your part, not that it was a good decision but not that it was entirely bad either. See? A challenge. You like those.

What I mean to say is: your parents don't know their falling. They don't at the mean time. But trust me they will… they just have to see you first to know how."

"What if they can't?"

"Then I can see were you got your eye sight from."

She bit her tongue. "Do you think they will, someday…"

"Yeah," he quickly said, "I mean I did."

The End…


End file.
